Professional Hazards

For the most part, they're courteous, and they understand the rules; but occasionally, there's some fresh fucker who wants it the old fashioned way.

"What do you think you're doing?" I almost yelled, and snapped out of position to turn on him. "That was not just sliding it between."

"Hey, it's just love," he came back with.

I was stupefied by the answer.

Yes, it's just love; it's just bodies; it's just life... fragile, cell-driven life that's only assurance is that it stops, probably some day before any of us want it to; and there are little, cell-driven other lives that would happily speed us to our destination.

"I like flesh on flesh," he expanded.

"We all like flesh on flesh," I returned, "that doesn't mean it's the way to go."

"I'm clean," he pouted.

"I'm sure you are," and I flicked the condom in my hand.

"Just forget it then."

For any of you out there concerned with casual first encounters, work-safety, or dodgy lovers, keep this in mind: doggy-style is best. You actually retain a lot of your control on all fours: escape is easier (remember to twist), and you can be on your feet and out the door in seconds. Never mind the clothes. I learnt this from Sex in History (Tannahill, 1980), which laid out within the first few pages, quite plainly, the fact that humans are one of the few known organisms on the planet which can experience rape, mostly because of the physical positions we have developed to engage in it.

Missionary position, anyone?

 

Darwin never said that evolution was ideal, only that it was appropriate to the environment. I'd like to point out, this is precisely where evolution departs from "intelligent design".

Intelligent fucking design. Don't even get me started.