I am certainly humbled by the sheer amount of mail I have received (and not answered) this past month. I’m a fairly terrible absentee landlord, to be sure. Perfectly despicable; but still here.
I mentioned transition before; and transition has ended up involving more of my resources (emotional, physical, psychic) than I had initially expected.
(Isn’t it always the way.)
And I’ve been repelled by the blog, by the sheer task of assailing the material. I haven’t even logged into my Typepad account since last I wrote; and it’s not that I haven’t done much: I’ve packed; I’ve fretted; I’ve mooned… but it’s all internal, which turns out to be the space most frightening to articulate: because as soon as you say it it’s true, and as soon as it’s down in print, it’s real. I’ve covered a lot of ground. I’ve had a lot to say to myself, before I could possibly say it to anyone else.
End result: as a compromise, I’m broadcasting an abridged version:
What was that Pink said? I’m not something, something…? I don’t remember exactly, but I have at least twice as many separate words in my blog than she has chords in her songs, so I mean what she said.
I am still here. I’ve been busy.
I’m by the ocean, right now. It’s very hot.
Okay, maybe not that abridged, however true.
I’d reached my terminus with prostitution in my host location. I’d done my best, had predominantly good experiences, made some money; and it was time to leave. So, decision made, I started to prep -- and then everything became more complicated. Relationships that had been started as good-faith interims became surprisingly serious; living arrangements that had been stress-free became fraught with difficulty; and then there was the question of what to do next....
I had a plan. The plan was good.
The plan was too naive.
So, I’ve been fixing. And dealing. And doing my best (my best, my best…).
And I haven’t been here.
And now I'm in Asia; in transition.
Let me say that I am quite overwhelmed by my readers. As happy as I have been to have a forum for my experiences over this past year or so, I never expected to see it thrive so. You guys and gals are tops. Kudos.
We’ll see this to the end, you and me.