March 10, 2007

Satisfaction, Part 3

Close to Home

Are you based in the UK?

My location is a secret.


Approximately how many miles you travel a year in your profession, and what was the furthest that you have ever been flown by a client?

As this is the first year that I’ve been working in the Business, I haven’t an average yet to speak of, but it has been common for me to travel up to 100km one way for a job, around once a week. This has become less frequent now that I’ve started charging half my rate for travel time, which is just fine for me. Most of my work to date has been restricted to the city limits of my situation, and most men who arrange to see me are impatient for me to arrive; ordering a hooker is a lot like any other id-driven impulse, if the fixation takes too long to materialize, reason usually kills the desire. There are not many people out there who are inclined to arrange too far in advance, or commit a sum of money and time to someone that they may not get along with. That said, as I develop my working relationships, travel becomes more and more of a possibility.

Although the number of men say they're going to take me places is high, and averred in breathless sencertiy, I put these opines into the category of pre-orgasm gibberish, as you don’t hear much about it after the stutter, and the buck, and the subsequent slackening. I’ve only been asked to go on an extended trip in earnest twice, and both times fell though: once because of a WHO advisory, and another because my companion’s work situation suddenly changed.

Conversely, I have a number of clients who have flown into a city just because I was going to be there, once quite a long distance, and that's something quite flattering. I also have a few invitations extended to spend indefinite amounts of time at various places about the globe, remuneration (not travel cost) included, but it’s an option I’m not interested in pursuing at the moment.

Mind you, out of blue, this morning, I got a phone call asking if I’d like to be flown out to Berlin for a number of days; that is something I am interested in, should it turn out to be genuine -- but it’s going to take some negotiation.


What other professions do you think you'd be good at?

My father always thought I would end up in PR, and I think my mother still sees me as a university professor. I imagine I’ll be quite good at writing books.

School



What's your academic background?

Successful and disastrous, in turns.*


What color are your eyes?

The short answer is hazel. They’re actually grey, gold and green. I’m not kidding.


What color is your hair?

I am not a successful blonde; as a redhead, a little shocking; currently, I’m brunette.


In your opinion, what's your best physical feature?

My smile.


Do you ever do drugs with your clients? Have you?

I don’t, but I have. Alcohol form time to time; presently, when a drink is offered, I’ll usually take one, but only have a few sips. I have been known to go through a mini-bar or a bottle of spirits with a client, pre my curb-the-drinking resolve.  Little bottles of Amyl are often about, but my relationship with the boot cleaner is a very wary one. Besides that, as someone who has tried just about everything once (twice, three times – you do have to be sure), there’s little that I have not encountered outside of work, so know where my boundaries and safe-zones reside. I had a client, a few months ago, take out a kit after I arrived, and offer me a small range of options. “I don’t suppose you do this when you’re working,” he said. I was in a particular mood, and had absolutely nothing to do the next day, so indulged with him, and we had a really great time. He gave me three good pornos as a tip. That was the only time I can really recall. Cocaine used to make a regular appearance, but I haven’t seen much of it lately, and it does very little to help my sexual performance.


What is, in your opinion, the best feeling in the world? And the worst one?

Musical ecstasy under the stars, hands flung out, eyes open, when you can feel the planet move concentrically in heaven’s spheres without one word to prove it; and, the moment you feel your heart collapse into a sucking memory of the love that used to fortify it against all the terrors of the world.




* Despite being a very good student, winning awards, pursuing a lengthy degree at an institution of higher learning, and being generally “most promising” to my academic mentors, I have never graduated from a single thing in my life. The psychoanalyst of my future will undoubtedly have a field day.

December 20, 2006

Rough Diamond

Viagra_2 When Viagra first appeared (O, that blue diamond in the pharmacists chest, so tantalising), I remember watching the news story covering its appearance, and my first thought was:

Those poor prostitutes.

All I could see in my mind's eye were dissatisfied johns, out for a tour in the car, away from they're wives: randy, lonely, and wanting a torrid night of forgetfulness.

Men have been trolling about similarly since the beginning of time; the thing is, usually, once a man gets off, and the erection wilts, so does the will to continue whatever folly (be it monetary, moral, or indecent) he was up to. He shrugs, beings to fight some sleepy eyelids, and then says something like,

"Well, I'd best get going...."

But with chemical enhancement, I imagined girls negotiating a price, and then getting stuck with a guy that still wanted to go... and go and go; I saw a world once understood suddenly taken for a sharp turn into tedium. (At the time, I was only imagining the mechanics of street walking -- escort hadn't entered my conceptual repertoire -- neither had I imagined the specifics of sex-work transactions, and that you could charge by the hour, not just by activity.)

 

Little did I know what I'd be up to a few years later.

Among the many things I know now, that would never have occurred to me then, is how to identify Daddy's Little Helper at work.

If you take off the trousers and it's hard as a nail already, without stimulation -- without barely a kiss -- that's a sign. If it doesn't flag, or change in density, ebb, or perk up intermittently, he's either a freak of nature (and cheers, mate) or he's decided to dip into the prescription on the way from the bar to the rent-boy.

* *

Thing is, dude was boring, as well as drunk and unskilled. While it's generally true that the ones that want you to fuck them also want you to be aggressive and use them hard, throw them around a bit, this guy was more of a "take tab A and then insert into slot B sort" -- all of his instructions were painstaking. I felt like I was on set more than having an intimate moment with another human being, and despite the fact that his tent-pole was hoisted so admirably, there was no hunger in his touch, no crave or fancy in his body for mine.

"I'm going to fuck you now." As we'd negotiated earlier, this was fine.

A short while later:

"Now I want you to fuck me."

Um. I'm having technical difficulties.

"Just put it in."

"I'm not hard." I flopped for him.

"Just make it hard," he said to me, on his back, looking at me... quizzically? You've got to be kidding.

First off, do you even know how to sexually stimulate someone? Have you ever even tried? If you're really into this idea of getting nailed, I suggest that you develop some tricks, or even an in-bed manner that suggests that you want the other person to be there. Learn how to give head; that would be a nice start. Ask questions like, "what can I do to get you excited?" There are helpful things; but buddy, darling, dear source of my income, please don't try and pretend this shit is easy when you've had to take medication to stiffen your ego, and you're not even willing to share.

So that was a no-go. I tried to come up with alternatives, but at that point he became jejune and grumpy. C'est la vie. We lapsed into a very business-like torpor for the remaining few minutes until he got off.... It stayed hard. I rolled my eyes.

"You really should get better at keeping an erection," he told me.

I looked at him incredulously. "Oh?"

"I mean, it's your job."

"You're absolutely right. I'll practise more at home."

It's advice like that that keeps me humble.