I have to say that I was prepared for it. After looking at all the ads put up by other guys promoting their services around the Web, with their warnings of "No Time Wasters" and such, I figured that I'd get a number of calls from guys thinking that they wanted an escort, right up until they had to commit, or realise that they were actually going to have to pay, and then back out at the last moment. I guessed, even before I put up the ad, that I would get a ratio of something like three or four soft enquiries for every hard booking. The ratio's solid, and has turned out about right, but it's always interesting to see what form the time-wasting takes, and how they'd like to engage you without actually devoting any capital to the experience. Attempts to foray into dirty talk on the phone (a late night occurrence, I've worked out -- no more taking calls after 10pm), and clever lines of reasoning to try and haggle are at the top of the list. Sometimes they make me furrow my brow:
"So, how much would it be for one hour of erotic massage, and a half hour of escort?"
Um. It kinda makes you want charge a consulting fee.
I'm still getting procedure mapped out, and diplomatic, pat answers to common questions so I don't come off as an ass-hole, but this morning I had two separate hopefuls try to book me, and then try to get around the travel fee by saying that they would come and collect me, and return me home after, in their own car. When I didn't agree, both dropped me like a hot cookie tray. At the time, I hadn't really brought my faculties to bear on the issue to have a sufficient explanation for them -- it was fairly early in the morning, and I hadn't had any coffee -- but the more I think about it, the longer the list becomes as to why such an arrangement is a bad idea. Observe:
1) Safety. Mum always told me not to get into a strangers car, and I'm sticking to that piece of wisdom, thank you. I require a phone number and an address before I go anywhere for a job. I call the number to confirm before I head out, and if you're not there when I arrive, I'm coming straight home. Climbing into your mystery vehicle and being spirited off to my supposed destination does not peace of mind invoke.
2) Time management. Time really is money. The idea behind managing my own portfolio is that I won't be seeing as many clients in a week, however, as some derivative of Murphy's Law, it can be guaranteed that everyone who wants to see you will probably want to around the same time on the same day/s. I can't be waiting around for you to come an collect me on your own schedule, be it early or late, and hope that you're an efficient driver.
3) Privacy. I don't want you to know my neighbourhood, let alone my address. Let me tell you, stalking often begins very innocently -- those nice ones that seem so kind and attentive? They are, but they're also inclined to obsessive, creepy behaviour under the right circumstances. Better they don't have any idea which streets to troll up and down. Especially if they own a car.
4) Hassle. As there's no way that I'd be letting you pick me up at my front door, so I'd still have to get myself organised, out of the house and to a rendezvous point to meet you, which half-defeats the purpose of you coming to collect me in the first place.
5) Value. Probably most key. It's the value of my time, and the quality energy that it takes to spend with a client. As I've said before, I enjoy my sessions with my guys for the most part, but it is work, and it taps reserves of attention and energy that run deep, right to the source. Putting on the glamour, focusing your mojo for another person requires something that you can't just rely on indefinitely. Bridging the gap during a car ride is not only going to be awkward, but also draining. I can use the ride in a cab to put it on, pull the persona over to fit, feel sexy with it, and get into the right frame of mind. Forced small-talk in a closed space is just that, forced, and it's not doing anyone any favours. So, if I'm going to be in your presence, sorry, but it's going to have to be on the clock.
If ever asked again, I think I'm just going to site the safety thing.
Just found your blog, already loving it.
Posted by: Mike | February 17, 2007 at 07:20
Here's a link to a flowchart I made about screening clients. Maybe you'll find it useful, too: http://compartments.wordpress.com/2006/10/14/hooker-101-screening-johns/
Posted by: Compartments | February 17, 2007 at 07:23
Glad you like it, Mike. Welcome.
And thanks a bunch, Compartments. It's a great system, and filing numbers under "No" is positive brilliance.
Posted by: Note | February 17, 2007 at 10:48
Yeah, I'd probably want to stalk you. Coming to your blog all the time makes me feel like I alredy am.
Posted by: Max | February 21, 2007 at 14:13